dennis_jamir

moving out (official launch on may 17)

Sat, 02 May 2009 18:22:07 GMT

past to present

Thu, 30 Apr 2009 00:22:15 GMT

how time flies so fast. it's a cliche statement but nevertheless, it never cease to amaze me how can 1 whole year pass by in a snap.

*flashback* this picture was taken march of 2008:

here's what was happening to our lives back then:

toni, unfortunately (or was it?) didn't make the cut for the dec 07 nursing board exam. she was to fly for US and was planning to stay there for who-knows-how long. she was enrolled at KAPLAN together with me and biboy in preparation for NCLEX, which she did not finish because of her pending US trip.

Inday was an emergeny nurse in an emergency clinic in bf pque. she too enrolled at KAPLAN to review for nclex but due to her persistent laziness, opted not to finish her review.

biboy, like what i stated earlier, also enrolled at KAPLAN. he too did not make the dec '07 board exam.

as for jared, this was the time where i pretty much don't have any idea what he was doing with his life. i know he had a part time job somewhere in makati. he took the NMAT exam, same time that i did.

for me, i just recently resigned from apac where i stayed for 6 months. i focused on my NCLEX review and at the same time juggled my time with cotillion practice for dana's debut. same as toni, i also had a pending US trip around this time.

here's what happened after that picture was taken.

toni did went to the US but only stayed there for 4 months. she went back and applied at ETEL where she only lasted for about 3 months. she met joie. she and biboy broke up. she took the nov 08 nursing board exam and fortunately passed. 4 days after release of the NLE results, she got a job at zarate which she is still employed at present.

inday took the nclex exam and fortunately passed. she took up tarrot card reading - her frustration for the longest time. she was able to get a job at zarate; she and toni are now on the same shift and rotation at zarate. she processed her papers for texas and is now waiting for her working visa to be granted.

biboy sort of drifted apart after their break up (with toni). last thing i've heard about him, according to toni, is that he worked in a hospital but had to resign to give time for his NLE review.

jared, surprisingly, went to texas the same date toni went back here in manila. he stayed there for 6 months and came back last january. he's now working at cvg in makati.

my US trip did went through but i only stayed there for 2 weeks. i went back and took nclex which i fortunately passed last august. i applied at ETEL and stayed there for only a month. i planned to apply at asian hospital but fate led me to working again in a call center, medicall. right now, i'm a triage nurse at medicall.

all these things happened in a span of 1 year. imagine, if 1 year can do so much change, how much change would happen in a span of 5 years? 8 years? a decade? i wish i could stop time and just take a breather. it's not easy to keep up pace with time, especially now that i feel i'm trekking on a dead end path. pretty soon, i'll hit that dead end. it's just a matter of time.

doodling at work

Mon, 30 Mar 2009 16:52:46 GMT

*should've been posted last 28.03.09.*

   it's supposed to be my rest day today. but here i am at work, on OT. sheesh. i don't even think this is worth the OT pay. i want to rest, to sleep. i haven't slept yet after my shift last night. i wish i could spend some time with Ja this weekend. i miss hanging out with him. we've been so busy at work that we haven't had a chance to go out. our supervisor is currently discussing the metrics of our work. it's freaking boring. good thing they gave us a notebook, at least i'm able to doodle to kill time (until 1 am!).

fast forward to present:

   me and Ja had a chance to meet up last weekend. went at toni's. supposedly an advance celebration of tita's birthday, but as it turned out, since inday wasn't able to go because she suddenly got sick and the cote clan had an appointment at US embassy the following morning, we just stayed until 11ish. then i drove Ja home..haaay...what a boring weekend it was.

   i was surfing the net about how to apply for a canadian tourist visa. i'm really positive about this one. i have a feeling that my plan will work out this time. i hope i'll get approved of one. i'm planning to go there this september together with toni. and then if everything goes as planned, i'll be signing up with my agency that will help me process my immigrant status in canada. i'm still keeping my fingers crossed though. America is really not for me, it's not my greener pasture.

i wish.

Sat, 28 Mar 2009 20:03:46 GMT

i wish i could take you out to dinner.
i wish that i could order for two.
i wish that we could share one dessert;
choco mousse or cheesecake in white and blue.
and then we'll have a cup of coffee,
until the wee hours of the night.
we'll talk side by side, holding hands.
with me leaning on your arms so tight,
underneath the starry sky that's bright.
i wish i could hold you're hand right now.
i wish that i could share you my gossips.
i wish to see you're dimpling smile,
that never seems to last a while.
but nevertheless, it makes me happy.
just to see you, jolly or grumpy.
i wish i could see you right now,
so that i can have your shoulder to cry on.
for these past few weeks, i've been feeling low.
for these past few weeks, i wanted to cry.
for these past few weeks, i wish i would die.
i wish i could see you right now.
just for this moment, just for tonight.
how i wish i can control time,
so i could be with you,
and be forever thine.

a love story.

Fri, 27 Mar 2009 01:41:32 GMT

this came from a fellow blogger, ruff.
i just happened to read it earlier while at work.
and then i watched this video..
try to watch it..it may not be the ideal love story,
but it still is a love story.

what scares me.

Thu, 26 Mar 2009 18:28:51 GMT

taking a break from work. while on my yosi break (or cancer break as most of us would call it), i suddenly realized how i love....him. i suddenly miss him. i suddenly miss how we were before, where we can just meet up anytime since we don't have work that time. he was just a text away if i wanted company. i miss his hugs, i miss his hands entwined into mine, most of all, i miss talking to him. our conversation usually comprises of the bloopers that we had when we were at college; when he was the president of our class and believe it or not, i was the VP.

it's just sad that now that as we age (or grow up, whichever term is more appropriate) we get to spend less time with each other. i hardly see him, even on weekends, and that's because mostly during weekends, we hibernate. literally hibernate to sleeping, which we are greatly deprived of during weekdays.

we just had our 2nd monthsarry, 16th of this month. sadly enough, we weren't able to celebrate it. well it's kind of my fault. i made up a fight. it's another story to tell but to cut it short, he got mad at me and i got mad at him so we didn't even get the chance to meet up, even just to dine out. this week, i saw him just once. and that woudn't even happen if another friend of us didn't ask us to accompany her at PRC.

admittedly, there are times when i doubt the relationship that we have now. it scares me. because it happened too fast. remember the expression, "too good to be true"?? that's what i'm feeling. it's like imprinted on my brainwaves. it's like a pimple that just won't go away. i have doubts of course, because this is all what i've wanted ever since i fell for him. this is the climax of our story. and that exactly is what scares me. if this is the climax of our story, then eventually it will lead to the ending. i used to believe in forever. there was a point in my life where i really thought that everything or at least something ends happily ever after. but i guess with experience and maturity comes the realization that nothing lasts forever. and i know that for a fact. and the thought of it scares the shit out of me. does this mean it's all going to be downhill from here??

yes, call me a pessimist. i call it being realistic. think of it, do you know someone, from your group of friends or relatives, who lasted forever? who never once in their life, cheated from their partner. it happens. every single day. i constantly hear this from all forms of media: morning radio shows, tv talk shows and even in the internet. and this is a girl-guy relationship that i'm talking about. the representation of adam and eve. what about for guys having a relationship with their kind, imagine how much more prone it is to breakups. like what they say, "men cheat by nature". it's like they, (or WE) are designed to hunt for someone else when they're...attached. it's like a trigger for them (or US).

truth is, i don't know where i'm going with what i'm blogging about. but my point is this, why did i even crossed the line? it's like crossing a border line between S. Korea and N. Korea. the moment i step within the border of N. Korea, i know i'm going to be shot. why did i even attempt crossing it??? for a challenge? to live the dream i've longed for who-knows-how long??? i just don't want to feel the way i felt before. i'm scared of the old me. because being the old me made me an unproductive and fruitless scumbag.

haaay...i'm confused.

have to go back to work.

i want to go home...

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 18:36:57 GMT

it's just the beginning of another week and i'm not feeling it already. i have a throbbing headache d/t to my stiff neck. i can't concentrate on my work and i'm hating it. i want to go home. aaarggh! so far, i've finished only 2 claims. i need to finish at least for this shift or maybe 5. my training will only be up until next week. after that, i may need to finish at least 10 claims per shift. and i don't know if i can do it. my eyes hurts..everything hurts! sheeeshh..

i wanna go home... *sniffs*

an hour and 10 minutes before the end of shift

Fri, 20 Mar 2009 22:45:10 GMT

i got tired of doing claims. i was supposed to review my 4th claim but then i gave up. my eyes is just too dizzy to look at the system we're using - which is DOS-based by the way. it's really not pleasing to the eyes, what more to those who have 4 (just like me). so instead of finishing it, i'm just here killing time and pretending that i'm working on something. hahaha. if you could only see how small the notepad i'm using for typing my entry. it's so tiny that i can only view 2 lines of sentences at a time. hahaha.

i'm bored. kill me. shoot me.
i don't even know if i'm going to see him this coming weekend. i texted him yesterday and asked if he wants us to go out this weekend. his answer, "ayos lang". take note, he didn't even end his text with a period (.). it's as if he didn't even missed me to think that we haven't seen each other for a week now. sheesh. from now on, i'll never initiate a date. i won't ask or even beg for one! i'll wait for him to ask me. let's see how long can he lasts..hmmp! (tampo mode)

i was blog hopping earlier and i get to read a blog from a UST med student. i suddenly miss a very good friend of mine, jing. haay, i know we haven't been that close before (during HS), but somehow i feel like i can confide to you about anything. you're like lianne. how i wish i could see you again. you and li.

anyway, i'll go back to work..or at least pretending to..haha.

@ work..again!

Fri, 20 Mar 2009 19:29:37 GMT

ok. im currently at work. i just finished 2 claims in a span of 3 hours. 3 hours???? hah! as per policy, i should've finished it by an hour at least. see how slow i still am. what the heck, i'm still in training. i have an excuse for my turtle-like slowness. hahaha. i'm just taking a break. i'm onto my 3rd claim already. i can't believe it's weekend yet again. come next week, it's going to be payday! more more gala na naman -- that is if i can fit it on my busy schedule. hahaha. feelingero ako, i know! anyway, have to get back to work. another puslit mode lang 'to eh.

lucky i'm in love with my best friend

Thu, 19 Mar 2009 21:32:49 GMT

it's been 2 months. i can honestly say that I've never been happier. for a very long time, i kept on ranting about him; how i was back to square one, how i was on a roller coaster ride that doesn't seem to end, how i wish i never knew him. but last Jan. 16, everything changed. every blogs i wrote translated into senseless group of words. my best friend and i became more than just best friends. hah, as i read may previous blogs, i can't help but smirk and sometimes even sigh out a laugh. everything seemed to be at the right place at the right time. but not every relationship is smooth-sailing. i know that for a fact. but whatever happens, I'm here to stay. i'm in it for the long haul, smooth ride or not. i'm in love. ^_^